Dear Mariella My year-old daughter is dating a year-old man
But that's not the question. For example, a year old with a year old is not going to seem such a big deal. The age difference is is something that will bother other people, but if it doesn't bother them, then that's fine.
70 and a 20 year old dating
The problem is, I don't know how much of a red flag the age difference is. This might sound a bit out of left field, but is it possible that some of your Mormon upbringing might still be affecting your thinking a bit? She just needs to make sure she's treating him well. He sounds great and she sounds like she knows her shit.
Life and style
But your sister sounds prepared for that. He may very well treat her better than the immature guys her age will. You'll need an understanding ear and a large dollop of patience. The relationships are healthy. When I ask her about it, she flatly denies it, but she is an attractive girl who has never shown any interest in guys her own age, how do i and she lies to me about where she is going.
That could get weird fast, or it could be the source of a bad power dynamic. Long before I ever met my wife, she was involved in a similar relationship, age-wise. The age difference is the least of your worries, if it is a worry at all. In our case, it worked out beautifully and things are pretty great with us. In fact, given everything else you say, this sounds like a great relationship.
It may take time but, quite honestly, it's the only way to move this situation forward. Why Your Partner Watches Porn. Basically, get ready to have a lot of conversations sooner than you might have had you not dated up a decade. Do they get along despite an age difference? If she's handling it well, between similarities great!
If she was older, I would have had the same amount of growing up to do. Her feelings of low self-worth will only be exacerbated by your antagonistic approach to her relationship. The utility of this equation? Should I confront her with her father there, too? Unless the guy is a choad, it'll probably be fine.
Should I speak to the man she is having the relationship with? Applying a less judgmental and more sympathetic approach would go a long way to achieving your goal. We were taught some good and many deeply twisted, woman hating, and patriarchal things about love, sex, and relationships. If it helps you to get past the age difference, remember this guy was in his twenties a few months ago.
And there is no strange life experience power-balance of any kind. How well does she treat him? If she wants to come out to her parents about her relationship, she will have to be prepared for the consequences. Without any evidence that this guy is mistreating your sister or using her, I wouldn't be worried, especially if your sister is mature and generally makes sensible decisions about important things. We don't want to emulate that.
She may well feel utterly rejected by her father and therefore have found what to her seems an ideal replacement. Honestly, the only thing that causes me concern in the facts laid out above is that they work together. Those age preferences consistently hover around the values denoted by the rule the black line. That seems like bad news waiting to happen.
How long have they been together? None of us here can know that, though. Better to be out in the open about it than be keeping this sort of thing a secret that may later backfire or be grounds for dismissal. Whether or not this is a mistake isn't something any of us can know, either.
It's much, much bigger than later twenty-year gaps. The dilemma I have a year-old daughter who I believe is in a relationship with a year-old man. In general, I wouldn't say that a year-old dating a year-old raises any immediate red flags. With some quick math, the rule provides a minimum and maximum partner age based on your actual age that, if you choose to follow it, you can use to guide your dating decisions. In other words, while the rule states that year-old women can feel comfortable dating year-old men, this does not reflect the social preferences and standards of women.
As with other posters, the only thing that concerns me is that they work together. Because if it's a relationship that works out in the long term, she might learn some valuable things from not going right from living with your parents to living with a boyfriend. It doesn't sound like you're worried about her safety, so.
There are just different questions to ask and risks to be taken. If she isn't or if he turns out to do something really wrong then just listen to her and keep doing what you're doing - listen to her and give the best advice you can. She hasn't seen the world, he probably has. Like you, sayings about matchmaking I had a lot of growing up left to do so did my girlfriend. He treats her very well and with a lot of respect and kindness.
- Dating someone you work with is always fraught with issues, as others have said.
- Your husband may not be all you hoped for, but he's certainly got a point.
- That is, she is happy, which is why she's told you about this to share her joy.
- If I need to grow up, it's a personal thing that affects me, not my sexual partners.
- So basically, this is a relationship where other than the age difference, there aren't really any huge red flags.
- The age difference is big, but if she's as mature as you say she is, and they seem to be good together, it's probably ok.
To no ill effect, and in fact we're friends to this day. It's amazing, dating one liners and none of anyone's business. What's my opinion of the guy?
Does your sister's boyfriend understand or identify at all with your sister's background? But that's another thing I tend to distrust no matter what the ages are. Problems arise only if they have different expectations or assumptions about how their relationship will work out.
She still lives at home with our parents. They came from a similar conservative background to yours. The concerns I would have are the job and the parents.
Some are fine as long as one person is not the supervisor direct or not of the other. But how legitimate is this rule? The only possibly, though maybe not age-related issues I can think of that arose had to do with expectations. We've been married since last November. The fact that they work together has the potential for disaster.
- Almost all my relationships have had this kind of age gap or bigger and I'm fine.
- We have had a troubled relationship for a number of years, although she's still living at home.
- Thank you all for your responses, which have helped me learn more about what is considered healthy and normal by average folks.
- The mark of a good relationship is how well does he treat her?